blog Time Hath Found Us: NOW's Backgrounder on Roberts - What They're REALLY Saying

July 20, 2005

NOW's Backgrounder on Roberts - What They're REALLY Saying

My good friend Juleni from Truth and Action forwarded this email from the National Organization for Women (NOW). It is the first pathetic attempt at Borking the new nominee to the Supreme Court - John Roberts.

I've taken a swipe at translating the reality challenged rantings of the NOW email in the tradition of MAD Magazine.

What NOW is really saying about John Roberts:

Throughout his 26-year career, John G. Roberts has continually supported and promoted an anti-woman, anti-civil rights, and anti-worker agenda. [This guy's a chauvinisticly racist capitalist pig!] NOW opposed his nomination to U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit in 2003 [Duh!] on these grounds and will continue to do so to protect the lives of all women and girls in the U.S. [Except for all those girls we like to abort, especially the poor ones]

Among our many concerns, Roberts actively opposes Roe v. Wade and wrote several amicus briefs while a Deputy Solicitor General. [Can you believe it? He actually said those baby girls we love to abort have the so-called "right" to be born.] In one case where Roe was not even at issue, his brief offered gratuitously: [And you KNOW how we feel about gratuitous briefs!] "Roe was wrongly decided and should be overruled." He also wrote a brief in a case NOW brought against Operation Rescue in our effort to stop violent blockades [Everybody knows those followers of Jesus are so violent with their signs and hymns! We were soooo offended! We'll take those nice boys from Hamas any day.] at abortion clinics. His brief and oral [Get it -- brief and oral? He is such a, a man :-( ] argument supported Operation Rescue, and argued that the blockades were merely an expression of opposition to abortion. [And not the sexist attacks of the theocracy! Can you even believe it?] The Court's failure to protect women and clinics from these attacks helped us pass the Freedom of Access to Clinic Entrances (FACE) Act the following year. [Bray, et al. v. Alexandria Women's Health Clinic, et al.] [We showed them who has the cajones around here!]

In 2001, Roberts filed an amicus brief in Adarand v. Mineta, supporting a challenge to federal affirmative action programs. He also argued against Title IX, the equal educational opportunity law for women and girls as applied to college athletic programs in NCAA v. Smith. [That's right, he hates minorities and women]

While in private law practice [Roberts has even had the unmitigated gall to work in the private sector!], Roberts served as lead counsel for Toyota in Toyota Motor Manufacturing, Kentucky, Inc. [An eeeeevil corporation.] v. Williams, in which he argued to limit the protections of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). The case involved a woman fired after asking Toyota for accommodations to do her job after being diagnosed with carpal tunnel syndrome. The court ruled that while this condition impaired her ability to work, it did not impair her ability to perform a major life activity, and thus was not protected by the ADA. [Since when is a typing CAREER not a MAJOR LIFE ACTIVITY? You would think they were talking some menial "job" like raising children.]

He is also member of the Federalist Society, an [eeeevil] ultra-conservative organization committed to returning to a pre-Civil War era [See he supports slavery!] of unquestioned states' rights and rolling back legislation that has advanced women's rights, civil rights, environmental protections and health and safety standards. [That's right, he loves slavery, he hates women, he is a racist pig, he drinks pollution for breakfast and he wants everybody to get sick and break every bone in their body.] Federalist Society heroes and leaders you might recognize are Supreme Court Justices Antonin Scalia [white pig] and Clarence Thomas [Uncle Tom black pig], former U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft [Christian BushHitlerite pig] and Sen. Orrin Hatch [Mormon pig] (R-Utah).

The character [whatever that means] and record of anyone nominated to our nation's highest court must be thoroughly reviewed and considered by the Senate [our useful idiots] in their important "advice and consent" role. The Senate must be certain the nominee can discern between personal conviction [whatever that is] and interpretation of the law as they balance the interpretation of our Constitution and our democracy's promise to protect and expand the civil liberties [That's right, expand them real big. After all, the Constitution was supposed to give the government the power to grant the little people rights, except the white pigs that wrote it got it all wrong.] of all people, not just the privileged few. John Roberts does not meet those standards [whatever that means].

What, me worry?