blog Time Hath Found Us: NCAA Mascot Mania

August 10, 2005

NCAA Mascot Mania

Jeremy Robb at ChronWatch has written a scenario which takes the recent NCAA ban on post-season use of Indian mascot names to its logical conclusion.
NEW YORK, New York --- Ireland became furious over a recent announcement by the NCAA to ban Native American mascots in tournaments due to their abusive and hostile nature...


Meanwhile, other groups also felt slighted by the ban. Greeks began legal work to ban Spartan mascots from any tournaments. Descendants of the ancient city of Troy started rumblings about banning the Trojan mascot. Satanists demanded that mascots like the Blue Devils and Sun Devils be banned for insensitivity to Satanic religious beliefs. The United Way asked that the Tennessee Volunteers not disrespect volunteers around the country with their insensitive use of the term as a mascot. Pope Benedict XVI chimed in and demanded that Saints also be banned as mascots during tournaments. Spock demanded that the NCAA ban the University of Hawaii-Hilo from using the Vulcan mascot. Upon hearing the news, President Bush sent word that he was offended by Emory and Henry College's use of the Wasp mascot. PETA threatened to kill all NCAA directors if they did not include a ban on any and all animals as mascots, claiming the emotional distress caused to animals by exploiting them as mascots is irreversible in many cases.

There has to be an ACLU lawyer behind this somewhere.